Most theologians and commentators over the years, agree that the parable of the sower, told by Jesus, describes the different types of soil indigenous to the area surrounding the city of Jerusalem, however the rocky soil from that parable is actually no-where near Jerusalem, but is in fact in Boynton Beach, Florida, lining the backyard of a house on A1A, near Woolbright. And war is waged against it, as we good men of middle earth attempt to remove trees and shrubs from the soil surrounding the two-story house where enemy rocks have entrenched their legions.
So let this be a call, nay a humble plea, to all landscapers in the universe: that as each plant, tree, whatever it may be, is to be grafted into your natural playground, and the angry horned devils whisper into your ears the temptation to plant them without first removing all rocks from the surrounding earth; fight with every ounce of strength you can muster, or else the 20 year old sons of general contractors, forced to pull out massive Geiger trees, will hate you.
2 comments:
hillarious man. use the freaking sawz-all. miluakee's are real bad asses and they don't back down from anything- not even geiger trees. although the rocks way ruin a few blades which will severely infuriate a general contractor you may know of. when he asks why you're leaving and you say "to get more blades for the sawz-all" he'll put both hands on his head and say, "i just bought a brand new pack of those, don't buy more". and when you tell him you went through the entire pack he'll say "you're not working handy". that's his way of saying you aren't doing something right. "working handy" as he calls it is the cure all for every daunting task. i broke two shovels once in two days removing these tree and you want to know what he said was my problem, yeah that's right- i wasn't working handy.
on second thought, he was right, i wasn't working handy, instead of paying me my hourly rate for two days he should have very handily gotten a bobcat to come out and take the trees out in an hour for the same price. but then again, if dad works handy, you and i are out of a job. you hate some of those jobs now i'm sure but certain as rain in monsoon season, i'd kill to bust my ass for kaiser construction tomorrow. maybe just a half day.
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