castles and archers

let me start this over 
my hands are flailing dangerously
you know how terribly i want to be somebody else 
convince me that it's worth it to remain exactly who i am;
i saw a movie once, where a boy loved a girl before leaving on a journey 
and i thought to be a movie scene, 
without letting myself believe that reality doesn’t fit so comfortably into the back seat;
break the merits 
i am holding myself up against 
cut them, like ribbons and sheets
with kisses to my cheeks  
a thousand plus a thousand, 
please,
these medals do break apart 
and i will, let my stars down, 
lord knows i need a hand from time to time 
in mine, without letting go 
when stumbling how are you’s 
and questions that I shouldn’t,
can you blame me 
have you seen how beautiful you are;
trust me 
i never intended to let my confidence of its leash; 
out the window and down alley ways,
it is more stubborn than you are, 
and it doesn’t listen to my reasons anymore; 
only to the queen it made of you the first night we walked alone,
speak to me 
tell me a story 
i know it’s cold outside
but theres a fire building inside my chest 
and i’m only away collecting sticks to burn

when god made you, he put strength, 
like castles and archers, behind your eyes;
he put oceans behind mine, 
and you said you loved the way my insides flow, 
but they didn’t support you tip-toes when you tried to step into my soul
good thing its spring, she said
i hope the waters warm