something so

if life is deep waters 
i painted her long above the surface, 
she floating 
through trough 
and crest of wave,
me churning 
around below 
like live chum;
her line,
cast out infrequently
was gripped within fingertips and palm, 
aimed downward, 
charmed and glittered,
flickering light to wide eyes

i nearly bit instinctually,
til’ inwards raised the warning; 
for - 
i’d been patient far too long
but to say hello and goodbye 
to these depths once 
and for always;
yet - 
i captive,
to her colors far too brilliant to look elsewhere,
took her line 
and she set the hook 
into my lips
like forever, 

and there began a struggle - 
hers,
to land me on dry ground 
and mine, 
to make permanence of her memory 
the day i floundered into her will,
the day she reeled her strength into mine
the day we hoped beyond us, 
past the pain and distance
to the light within ourselves that possibly this once,
we were something worth holding onto 
something worth all the fighting for - 
so, if you think i’m quitting now
you have severely underestimated how foolish i am