tuesday the twenty ninth

i am fall fall fallin' 
like leaves into your garden 
oh darling 
rake me up into your arms 

the summer winds 
have dried me all but to my bones 
rake me up take me up 
into your arms 

something so

if life is deep waters 
i painted her long above the surface, 
she floating 
through trough 
and crest of wave,
me churning 
around below 
like live chum;
her line,
cast out infrequently
was gripped within fingertips and palm, 
aimed downward, 
charmed and glittered,
flickering light to wide eyes

i nearly bit instinctually,
til’ inwards raised the warning; 
for - 
i’d been patient far too long
but to say hello and goodbye 
to these depths once 
and for always;
yet - 
i captive,
to her colors far too brilliant to look elsewhere,
took her line 
and she set the hook 
into my lips
like forever, 

and there began a struggle - 
hers,
to land me on dry ground 
and mine, 
to make permanence of her memory 
the day i floundered into her will,
the day she reeled her strength into mine
the day we hoped beyond us, 
past the pain and distance
to the light within ourselves that possibly this once,
we were something worth holding onto 
something worth all the fighting for - 
so, if you think i’m quitting now
you have severely underestimated how foolish i am  

beetles and the palm trees

i need the moon
more than the moon needs me
still
it's nice to know something's not going anywhere for a while
and as the night rolls on
even into loneliness
i wonder
if she has as good a view of my stillness
as i do of her brightness
it's incredible
how strong i can be
when there's no,one to let down
how faithful i am
without any,one to fail
i need the moon
more than the moon needs me
still
i only tell those who aren't going anywhere for a while
and that includes the beetles and the palm trees

ness

in an ideal world, there’d be a proper venue and a dozen or so strangers, in front of which to practice being truthful. 

then, in an ideal world, there’d be fireworks big enough to be seen - simultaneously by every pair of eyes on the planet, and a wick long enough to put some distance between me and the blasting of my apologies across the evening sky. 

as is, i'll attend this get together, and let on as if there were no explosions in my chest, capable of granting you and i the freedom to all let down our cloaks, of guilty,ness and who'd have knowns. 

forgive me, for making you wear this unforgiven,ness far longer than i should. 

song for LA, when she was mine

i once said love, 
to me, 
was less and less about achieving perfection, 
and more and more about pursuing the seemingly impossible, 
together,
gladly. 

perhaps the beauty of this song, 
for me, 
is that it never seemed like it had to be perfect, 
nor did i ever want it to be. 

never had i felt 
so far from having it all together, 
and never did i feel 
so much like i had everything i needed. 

i'm sorry i fell 
so far short, 
of deserving her -  
to wait for me to prove it. 



enjoy the tune
the sounds of my roommates coming home to pick me up for dinner 
and our one year old black lab 
welcoming them triumphantly. 

recorded in one take from our kitchen table, 
in the same chair that it was written, 
one morning in february. 

'I still miss someone,' a cover