for a rainy saturday; a Paul Simon cover

"always inaccessible, always bright"

Amado Nervo

Más allá

Más allá del cedro por el sol cribado,

Más allá del monte por la nieve hopado

Que los frescos valles custodiando está,

Más allá

Más allá del aire cuyas nubes puras

Gráciles erigen sus arquitecturas,

Más allá

Más allá del Cosmos, forjador potente

De mundos y soles, que en resplandeciente

Fuga de oro y plata desgranando va,

Más allá

Tristemente irradia mi quimera hermosa,

Siempre inaccesible, siempre luminosa,

Más allá

Mexico City Blondes - Fade

Cosmo Sheldrake - The Moss

Banks - Drowning

for days like today

Don't Wait (Remix) - Mapei, Chance The Rapper & The Social Experiment

what sunday has meant and will mean

sunshine
breeze
a cup of coffee, and
the thought of you
without doubt
these few things, are
the brightest
and best
part of my day

now every girl on the west coast knows your name LA

three weeks on the road 
are three too many 
to keep the pair 
of eyes at the bar
from wandering where they shouldn’t
and 
one’s last night in town 
is enough to make the tone 
in any initial conversation 
feel like foreplay;
it’s a shame
my monologues make 
too good of speeches for the underdog candidate, 
i started
to make her think i was running for office 
“listen,"
i said,
"i think i gave the wrong impression, 
that wasn't a pick up line 
i really did like 
the design on your umbrella
but, honestly
i’m not your guy, 
not this year sweetheart 
although, 
perhaps him
the beard and sideburns looking this way,
i’m pretty sure he studied something important 
truly, 
i bet he even wears cologne.” 
yet even confident diffusion can seem 
like an invitation to want something.
"you sure?"
she asked,
and i guess you just kind of know 
these kind of things 
besides
i’ve been looking twenty six years for one heart 
and i was never so fond of 
the one found in 
twenty six minutes and a well drink 
"tell me" 
she said, through dilating eyes
"where did all the warmth go?
you were glowing before 
i got close enough for it to matter,"
but i did warn her 
besides 
she didn’t make my lips shake  
and 
i’ve never loved a woman who didn’t scare the hell out of me

now every girl on the west coast knows your name LA
and they use it to answer 
the question of 
what they got wrong 

-----

even then
i couldn’t have known 
what it would feel like to finally arrive  
to embrace you for a second, 
and then to say goodbye 
so when you looked at me like that
you made my head feel like a magic eight ball, 
and i would have let you shake me however long it took
to get the answers you were looking for, 
and when you held onto my arm
you made my heart feel like a unsolved rubik's cube 
and you always said math wasn’t your strong suit,
so i’ll wait til the next hello and coffee 
to let you want to solve me back to color 

Alice Russell 'Hurry On Now'

little this little that

friends always ask, what i’m 

gettin’ into

how my day was and

where i’m at 

i always answer 

little this little that 

little this little that 

like the quiet cafe and closing time 

little this little that 

like the growling of my stomach and the side walk to home 

little this little that

like the man in the wheelchair three deep in cheap bottles 

little this little that 

there is an answer to it all 

little this little that 

there is a reason for it also 

i keep telling myself that 

lest i rue against 

the brick walls that stand 

between everything i want and everything i am 

she was 

uniquely she 

she was 

only she 

and a wild flower is for dancing in the breezes

she was 

dancing in the breezes

'so when i first set out to love 

i never thought to build a prison 

but then i built a prison 

and i locked you inside' 

how to tear down a fortress

without breaking into pieces  

all the parts of we

that built it to begin with 

block and mortar

the slip of my confidence her 

warranted caution my 

doubts her 

justified exit sign 

now like suppertime 

little this little that 

like a cool evening and the approaching rain 

little this little that 

i keep telling myself that

like i’ve got all night to find some peace and all eternity to be restored

friends always ask, what i’m 

gettin’ into

how my day was and

where i’m at 

i always answer 

little this little that

"who wishes to walk with me?” 

-----

*quote from walt whitman (song of myself, 51). paragraph in quotes from alan k. and that time we tried to write a song. 

i think of gifting you everything*

i think of gifting you everything
all the beautiful things I see
your eyes
are next to them
in them
are moving toward them
and I wonder if i'll ever be 
able to get back all the beauty i dreamed when these two
and me
were one
the beautiful you
and all the second place beautiful things i always want to gift you
today
they are just second place beautiful
nothing more
and I am third
to the bridgeless gap where she told me not to follow 
to the forward progress and the stopping
to the light that doesn't turn green
to the lonely lull
once, a bronze metal shone brightly
in the knowing 
i was claimed by the one wearing gold
in the knowing 
i was bridged by all that wearing silver
now 
we are but places and ranks
on a podium
titled was's and no-longers
i wonder
if she still feels like the gold wearing queen she is
if she remembers how beautiful she will always be
if she knows how near to beautiful i could of been
godammit
i swear
i was the closest i'll ever be
but now we are three
and that is all we will be
you
the beautiful things
and me
makes you feel empty when you say it like that
but christ was it a lovely dream 
and boy is it a shame to leave all these books 
ungifted on the shelf like that 

*typed into my cell phone on a sunday night, at powell's - used bookstore on hawthorne street, Port. OR. in the independently published poetry section. finished with my computer on a thursday afternoon, at stumptown - cafe and roastery on santa fe, Los Angeles, CAL. at the bar.