Wednesday, August 17, 2011

There's a Damien Rice song for every scene, at least every one of mine



I couldn't help but notice the light of so many recent happenings, Ali and Joshem getting engaged, Brian and Erin having a baby, Neal getting a tattoo, Rebekah, Rachel, and Greg going back to school, Jesse celebrating a birthday one month early, Alan moving into a new place and having two bicycles, my nephews starting school, Dad building a Dunkin Donuts (his life goal I might add), and from the shadows wanted to respond in the only way I really know well, in penning my joy for what's occurring and the angst for not having been there.

The world spins madly on, we know that, the weepies told us so six years ago. And yet, I can't help but wonder why God brings people so far away only to pull them through the internal dregs of wanting only to be where they just ventured from.

(I suppose by people, I should clarify I mean me, and by God, must give the disclaimer that he probably, in this scenario, is wearing black jeans and a faded Zapzilla t-shirt. Holy smokes...did I just claim to be God, or realize that in my world it's far too easy to claim and credit him for what in all reality was my own aims, my own fancy, my own resolve, to be anywhere and everywhere but where I now am; to be doing anything and everything that I am not presently doing? For when even now, in the clear and present wake of being so close, literally weeks, to the very thing I've sworn to want and to have been called to, to anyone and everyone, for the last I don't know how long....want nothing more, than to be home).

I want nothing more,
than to be home.

2 comments:

K said...

That feeling and I...we're best friends. Problem is, I can't figure out where home would be, even if I could get there.

Jessica said...

Kris put it well. I think our heart will always long to be elsewhere...just one more reason that we were made for something more. If it's any comfort, I felt the same way about month 2 of being here. And...even now...love-hate relationship!